he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
