We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
