that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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