There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
