she was so not down for the gang bang
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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