I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
