I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
