I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
