she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
