dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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