found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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