Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize