My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
