i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I could fuck to npr.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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