But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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