Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
