I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
