So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
