these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
