omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
