well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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