I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
