this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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