I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize