Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
not ubering you a puppy
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
