she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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