Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
