it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
