My girlfriend figured out who you are.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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