i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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