If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
