Plan B is the new Plan A
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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