It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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