I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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