508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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