I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
