the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize