Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
