Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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