i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
