Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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