I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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