so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
