Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
