If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
