I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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