yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
