he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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