There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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