guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
