If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
