I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
