she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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