Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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