so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just puked most of my soul out..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize