I wish I could teleport
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
