Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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