I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
