I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
