I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
