paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
