Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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