Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
